No, Feminism Doesn’t Hate Men

Alright men, listen up.

There seems to be a growing misconception in our ranks that feminists hate us.

For some reason, some of us see women fighting for equality and decide that they’re our enemy.

I bet you’ve heard this line before: “If women really wanted equality, why would they call it feminism and not equalism?”

Well here’s why…

Because women have not been equal to men for a long, long time. They need to try and balance the scales in their favour. It’s called feminism because it’s literally about women.

I know that might come as a shock, but sometimes things aren’t about us. They’re about women.

And if you think starting a “Meninism” group in response is a good idea, then you must have the maturity levels of a 5-year-old.

Let me make something clear – I don’t hate men. After all, I am a man. I don’t hate myself. I don’t even blame myself personally for the fact that women aren’t equal.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not our responsibility to help.

When feminists talk about the patriarchy they aren’t always talking about you personally. You shouldn’t take offence. They’re saying that men, as a general section of society, have made it so women aren’t equal.

Stop making it about you.

Sure, some feminists might take things too far. They may openly declare that they hate men and decide we should all be removed from the planet.

Now, either they truly believe that or it’s simply an angry reaction to the circumstances they find themselves in.

We’ve all overreacted at times.

But the key here is that most feminists do NOT hate men. Most feminists distance themselves from the small minority that do.

In fact, a lot of feminists acknowledge that men need to help them.

So why do so many of us have this knee-jerk reaction?

I’m guessing it’s a combination of several things.

Firstly, you feel like you’re being personally attacked. When a woman says that men do bad things, you assume you’re included. It’s only natural to side with your in-group.

You have to try and realise that feminists are generalising when they say that men are the source of all the trouble. They don’t mean you specifically.

It’s like when I have a fit of road rage and declare that BMW drivers aren’t fit for the road. I don’t mean every BMW driver is bad. People overgeneralise when they’re angry. And feminists, quite rightly, are angry.

Secondly, you feel a little guilty. Maybe you realise that you’ve contributed to the inequality at some point in your life. Most of us have done so without even realising.

So you feel guilty. When a guilty party is cornered, it triggers the fight or flight response. And so maybe a lot of us decide to fight – in this case fighting feminism.

Instead, own your mistakes. Accept that you’ve contributed to the problem. Be sorry about it. And learn from it. Getting defensive isn’t the way forward.

Finally, maybe we’re all a little scared. Men have had it pretty good. We’re generally paid more, we rise up the career ladder faster, we dominate politics. In the UK, women have only had the vote for around 100 years. In some parts of the world they’re still treated like second-class citizens.

Maybe we’re scared of what happens to us when feminists achieve their ultimate goal. It’s almost territorial. It feels like they’re invading our space.

The reality, however, is that they’re simply sharing the space with us, like they should have done all along.

Men’s lives aren’t perfect. We have a whole roster of problems that we’re currently facing ourselves. That’s why I write about them.

But feminism isn’t trying to brush them aside. It’s just that women are trying to solve the problems they face too.

Perhaps if we learn to accept that, they can solve them sooner. And perhaps then they can help us solve ours.

Because we aren’t exactly doing a good job so far.

Feminists don’t hate men, not for the most part. And that’s despite the fact they have every right to.

I think that tells you everything you need to know about them, don’t you?

So stop hating feminists. They don’t hate you. Let’s help each other.

It’s that simple.